luckily i knew he was kidding about the fire

as i'm bent over the tub washing my hair, i hear aila crying and nolan hollering.

me (yelling over the sound of the water): what is happening? please stop! (cause i know he is probably doing something that is making her cry)
nolan: sorry! there was a fire and i had to get her out very fast!
me: well okay but why is she crying?
nolan: duh mom- because there is a fire in my house.

questions and more questions

while knocking on her head...
mom is Aila's head made of plastic and so it makes loud knocking sounds?


nolan: mom [remember how every question begins this way?] what are those little things that go crawling up your buttcrack called
me: uhhhhh (dumfounded)
nolan: i remember. wedges (not wedgies). they're called wedges, right?