Grandma was asking about a cute little girl at church that Nolan likes to play with
grandma: is she your girlfriend? she has long pretty hair, doesn't she?
nolan: yes she does. she is a girl. sometimes i am allergic to girls.
grandma: what happens when you're allergic?
nolan: i sneeze.

dork ;)

humble

he always likes to tell me to say something after he asks me a question. as in "say 'sounds good nolan' after i ask you to go to the mall"

today we were driving and he says:
"mom, i'm going to tell you to turn here and you say good idea dude"
"turn here mom"
me (so obliging): "good idea dude"
nolan: "thanks- i AM pretty awesome"

luckily i knew he was kidding about the fire

as i'm bent over the tub washing my hair, i hear aila crying and nolan hollering.

me (yelling over the sound of the water): what is happening? please stop! (cause i know he is probably doing something that is making her cry)
nolan: sorry! there was a fire and i had to get her out very fast!
me: well okay but why is she crying?
nolan: duh mom- because there is a fire in my house.

questions and more questions

while knocking on her head...
mom is Aila's head made of plastic and so it makes loud knocking sounds?


nolan: mom [remember how every question begins this way?] what are those little things that go crawling up your buttcrack called
me: uhhhhh (dumfounded)
nolan: i remember. wedges (not wedgies). they're called wedges, right?

Mom- there is this girl at school and i don't like girls and she yells at me and says mean things and so I don't want to go to school anymore (it was even more run-on actually). If I go to school I'm going to just leave.

Nolan you have to stay there- what if mommy came to get you and you had left?? I wouldn't know where to find you! I'd be so sad :(

Oh Mom! (he shakes his head) you'd pass me on the way in!

lessons from yo gabba gabba

watching yo gabba tonight, we saw the song about talents. nolan started singing the song back perfectly on key about all of his talents like swimming and riding his bike and playing with his friend eli, etc. i then asked him what my talents were and he started singing the same things so i asked, "no really, what do you think my talents are?"
and he told me :) then he told me aaron's
both made me smile! they can really sum up a lot about life sometimes and it seems we might just be doing okay as parents
mine: riding my bike, loving him and loving my friends, fixing lights and making breakfast
aaron: riding his bike, playing with him, looking on mom's computer and throwing the ball

"yeah- i don't want to die. soooo i drink lots of water."
good idea nolan, good idea.

i was talking about something to aaron (don't even remember what) and suddenly from the backseat, nolan says "ah stop it mom- you're just making stuff up!"

yesterday he pointed to a speed limit sign and said to look at the two fives. i asked him what two 5s together are (55) and he said...... fast :)

"mom, that aila! she sure is mobile isn't she??"

thanks for the grub and the comic relief

at dinner tonight- we were praying (led by nolan). and it went something like this:
"dear Lord- thank you for this day" (pause) "mom i need some applejuice"
me: nolan we are praying
"okay. dear Lord- thank you for this day. thank you for food" (pause)
"thank you for food. friends" (pause) "hold on- i need to toot and i should do it the other room"
me (smiling): ok- by all means
we did eventually finish the prayer btw....

messes: part 1

when the kids bathe- i like to bring the laptop in the bathroom and let them have a grand ole time while i surf the net. today- he lept out of the tub proclaiming he needed to use the potty, which is better than the alternative of peeing in the tub!. he then said "watch out mom- you don't want your computer to get wet. when i shake it off i might make a mess!"

as he takes off running: "TURNIN ON MY BLASTER!!!!!!"

hey thanks nolan.
no problem mom. i'm here to help you out!

today during aila's nap we read a book about being a big brother. he said he wanted to read it back to me so page by page, we went through and he "read" it out loud. we got to one page where the boy is helping to take care of the baby and he "reads" that he can help feed her and change the diaper and share toys and watch her play and give her some dinner and 'feed her with my boob' and give her a bath........ and on and on but i stopped listening after he got to the nursing part- too funny!!

dressing himself

the instructions were thus:
Nolan- go upstairs and get your clothes changed and then we can play outside (with outside being the operative word- in july- in missouri)

We've got a bit of the Kriss-Kross will make you jump thing going on.

And we got sidetracked by Yo Gabba Gabba on the computer.

PS- Ignore the mess ;)

do lightning bugs hold their butts up in the air so that they can see what's going on??
a valid question i think since they always come out in the dark :) he also pushed his butt out to demonstrate what a lantern as a butt would look like.

he just unfolded the instructions for some electronic advice.

dad will you read this to me?
no buddy- why don't you read it to me instead
ok- it says dear Lord- thank you for this day. thanks you for food. faith and friends and..... what is it dad?
family.
yes. for family. the end. amen :)

today nolan was talking about his elbow scrape. he told me how when he fell off his bike and hurt his arm it hurt really really bad and then it was bleeding but it stopped and now it is all plastic. it turns out the scabs are "plastic" :)

Our boy has some sensitive skin! I used a new "natural" lotion with spf when we went to the pool the other day... our in-town options are limited and i loathe the smell and feel of the burt's bees brand sunblock so that left me with say yes to carrots. it wasn't even a real sunblock but i figured it would be ok for some of our uses. weeeellll, the 2.6% of unnatural ingredients in the lotion have sent nolan into an itchy, bumpy mess! all over except his legs (i figure they got the gunk pretty well washed off in the pool). the burt's bees is the only one we have found that is good but like i said, i hate the feel!! i guess we are doomed to its use.
Anyway, tonight he saw the bottle of "rash lotion" and he said we should take it back. i told him that we couldn't do that but maybe we should write the company a letter. he says " I am going to write them too. I will write M O C D Y F G A and that says hey people-- your lotion burned my boy!"
Just for the record, I may let him write it ;)

at least he knows his right from his left

Overheard---- a little diddy about poop.
Maybe I should preface. Nolan didn't wipe very well this morning and got a skidmark on the sheet in the spare bedroom. He told Aaron about it as soon as he got home. As you may have noticed, Aaron is goofy and very gifted at making up songs- just ask his college roommates. So he starts singing poop on the bed to the tune of "Pants On the Ground" of American Idol fame.
10 minutes or so go by (Aaron is not still singing btw) and suddenly I hear a little voice singing poop to the right, poop to the left, poop and a poop and some poop on the bed.....
truly his father's child :/

nolan budy what is worng with your back?
i have a radish.


sooooo funny- he had been scratching his "rash" and it was all red and puffy back there :)

Today we were watching Giada (food network) make coleslaw and Nolan commented on how that salad looked good. I said that it was cole slaw and he replied I want some cole slaw and with it i want some cole-water. you know mama, water with ice in it so it's cole??

more of the same

My poor guy- he has the BIGGEST gag reflex i have ever seen. If he cries too hard, coughs too hard, has something stuck in his throat, too big a bite, whatever.... he gags and pukes. I have cleaned up puke more times in the last three years than my entire lifetime before him!
Tonight was a typical choke on toothpaste/spit night and he vomited all over his bed (lovely) and pjs. He stalls for bed like nobody's business too so honestly it was hard not to be a little ticked off- can he make himself puke on demand?? I think not- yet.
As I am FINALLY tucking him into bed he starts coughing a bit and I quickly grab water to brush down whatever residual gunk is still there. He asks why water makes us feel better and we talk about how it washes away all the yuck. He is still very fascinated by water. A typical boy, he is also amused by bodily functions and asks "Do we poop out the extra water?" Sorta- except it is pee- water helps wash out the yuckies and we pee out the extra.... "I like my pee to be orange" he says, "or pink or blue or black." Well I hope your pee is never that color- that would be some crazy pee. "I like it. Colorful pee is some fun stuff."

a look to the future

Today we were playing outside and I was telling Nolan how I don't want him to grow so fast. He said he wanted to grow up soon. I thought it was a perfect time to talk about what he wanted to be when he grows up so I asked him. I didn't get a solid career choice (though daddy has our little lefty slated to be a pitcher) but here are the top three things he is excited about doing when he grows up:
Driving
Playing with scissors
Shooting the big basketball

Oh the things us grown-ups take for granted :)

"Why do monkeys like bananas?"
"I don't know Nolan. Why do YOU like bananas?"
"Cause I'm a monkey!"

how quickly they forget

tonight the little mister threw a giant tantrum and was sent to his room to settle. when he was allowed out, i was trying to hug him and talk to him about why he got in trouble, etc... the usual post-trouble conference. he was being crabbier about it than usual so i kept having to ask him to look at me. at one point as he is sitting on my lap facing away, i said "nolan please tell me why you just got in trouble". with a huge frown and a shake of the head, he says " i really don't know mom that was like 2 weeks ago. i can't remember". he is a lost cause....

Overheard tonight while he talked on his pretend phone:
"Of course I would eat the wild caught salmon if I was going to eat salmon"

this is a version of a line from one of the songs on his favorite bare naked ladies cd- a kids cd called snacktime (i think)

His new favorite word

"Momma- can I take some water to Becky's house?"
"Sure bud"
"Oh good. I like to be all nice and hydrated"

Hydrated works its way into conversation at least 4 times per day :)

I was trying to explain to the little man that if he listened more, he would be in trouble less and life is way more fun without crying and time outs.
"So will you please start trying to listen to mommy"
(with a salute) "Aye Aye Captain!" and then he runs off

Maybe Someday

The thought of me writing down some of Nolan's colorful remarks really was solidified two nights ago. I found myself biting my cheek to avoid laughing at his query and wanted so much to share it, but felt maybe facebook would not be the best outlet.

The Set Up:
 I was folding laundry in my office because it has the chiropractic bench in there to set all the folded clothes on- Aila was napping and Nolan was looking through some books. He picked up a "skin disease" book that for some reason has always appealed to him- maybe a future dermatologist??

As he was flipping through the pages (of nasty pustules, infections and general ooziness) he opens to a large picture of a penis which probably has an STD.

"Mom. (sighing)  I sure wish I had a huge weiner..."  
I raise my eyebrows and bite my cheek because deep down I am still 14.

"Do you think that's possibly?"
(possibly, not possible)........ to which I responded "Maybe someday dude"

Disclaimer: I prefer anatomically correct terms for the male anatomy but my husband has completely ingrained the use of "weiner"- thanks honey

Of course this page is mostly Nolan even though I have two darling children. When Aila starts adding her own contributions, I guess I'll have to change the name. If she is anything like Nolan, this may be next week :)

Silly Kid to the Extreme

I have created this blog as a way for me to keep track of some of the funny stuff this little guys says. I know I will forget much but maybe this will keep him "little" in my mind even when he is old!! You will also notice I linked this page to Aaron's YouTube account so you can see our little movie collection too :)

To get started, I pulled together a collage of all the old status updates I used last year that mentioned things he said. This was created usung "My Year In Statuses" on Facebook


They can be found at the following link:
http://apps.facebook.com/my-year-in-status/show.php?i=e45ec1935d8d01465152f5addb0805e0da569&from=feed_desc


I am going to list a few of them out separately as well, in case this link goes away. I laughed and laughed when I read through these!! It is amazing how much we forget!

"Mom! My butt is like a trumpet"
"Do we have stomach to keep the poop pile in?"
"That was a cheesburger explosion!" -on sneezing with a mouth full of cheesburger
"Get me a snack then woman man" -on being corrected that a woman is called mam, not sir
"So is that my weiner?" -on learning about "cells" in my biology textbook
and
after wiping his snotty nose on my shirt "There! SNOT. Now she can't lay there" (the new baby sister)

I wish I had referred to him even more in my statuses because these are like gold to me!